Saw this Brilliant If Doms were dinosaurs post by brazenprofessor on Fetlife and knew you would love it! Fuck chicken soup for the soul. FetLife is window shopping for the psyche. But all that BDSM window-shopping can be difficult – with so many choices, how can a sub know what kind of Dom is the one true Dom for them? Just in time for the holidays, here’s a handy directory, dinosaur style. Because if Doms could pick any animal they would be, it would be a dinosaur. It’s in the (not so) Secret Domly Dom Manual™.
Tyrannosaurus Rex Dom:
- This big “tyrant lizard” has a loud carnivore roar and thinks it’s very fierce, but the “scene drama” gossip suggests that this bad boy might be more scavenger than predator.
- Subs should be aware that this DomDino isn’t known for his sense of humor. Forewarned is forearmed. Except in the case of the T-Rex, who doesn’t have much in the way of forearms. Speaking of forearms, because his arms can’t reach his mouth, the TyrranoDom is best matched with service subs.
- Although it looks like a Dom and talks like a Dom, this dino may or may not actually be a Dom (scientific reports debunked its existence, but other newer scientific reports say the brontosaurus is fact, not fiction). Either way, the “thunder lizard” is the archetypal vegetarian badass (think fierce hipster wearing flannel and vegan leather).
- The BrontoDom is best paired with brats, since if anyone is a good match for a brat, it’s a slow-moving, slow-witted thunder lizard.
- Okay, okay, pterodactyls aren’t technically dinosaurs, but work with me on this. A high-flying reptile, this DomDino is easily distracted by scurrying objects (instead of “Squirrel!” think “Submissive!”).
- This Dom is a strong match for subs with a prey orientation who don’t require much in the way of aftercare. Play is active and fast-moving with a PteroDom, but cuddling is out: accidentally eviscerating your sub with a claw the size of a chicken isn’t typically received as affectionate or nurturing.
- The stereotypical gentle giant, the “three horned face” is built for defense, not speed. And multiple orgasms. Because three horned face. The large horns, giant armored neck frill, and massive body size give this peaceful fellow an intimidating appearance at odds with its strong-but-silent personality.
- The TriceraDom is the quintessential Daddy Dom, and pairs best with sweet littles who love to curl up in laps the size of a small continent.
- A “swift seizer,” this cunning dino enjoys aggressive takedown play and is always fun to watch at a party or dungeon.
- As a quick thinking, problem solving sadist, the VeloDom shines when matched with smart-assed-masochist submissives who fuel said DinoDom’s prey drive with tears and squeaks of pain.
- An armored dinosaur, the “roof lizard” is one of the most elaborately ornamented dinosaurs. Lending itself to a fascination with leather harnesses and toys, this dino carries an impressively stocked gear bag.
- He may not be very bright or creative (because over-reliance on toys), but the StegoDom is great fun to play and cuddle with. This DomDino is an excellent match with highly curious newbie subs who are dying to experience All. The. Things.