12 Things I May Think While Sucking Cock

In response to some of the sappy, porn-star-esque ’12 Things About Blowjobs” that have been doing the rounds.

1) I hope it’s been washed…
2) I really hope it’s been washed… seriously, how hard is it to pull the foreskin back and give it a rinse?
3) It’s kind of got that pissy odor. Fine, whatever. I’ll just use (lots of) spit. Grim.
4) Right, down to business. It tastes tolerable now so I can start focusing on actually sucking this thing.
5) Suck suck suck, fondle, suck suck, lick, suck, DEEPTHROAT, gag, suck suck, lick.
6) Repeat.
7) Fuck, I forgot the balls. I wonder if I can fit them both in my mouth.
8) More sucking.
9) Oh, you want to orgasm? Tough.
10) Heh, I’m wet. Still can’t work out why blowjobs get me so excited compared to direct clit action. Weird.
11) How can I finish this off in a classy way without getting a mouth full of lukewarm gunk?
12) Shit, it’s gunna blow! ABORT ABORT ABORT!

Obviously I left out the vomit stage.

Alternative endings:

a) Ugh, okay. I love you so I’m going to be a good and (try to) swallow but don’t expect me to thank you.
b) It’s on my tongue it’s on my tongue get it off get it off
c) I’m horny so we’re ending this one with me on top whether you like it or not. Fortunately, I’m pretty sure you do like it.
d) Great. The cat puked on the bed. Again.
e) My jaw aches so fucking much and I have a dead arm. This ends here so if you want to blow your load you’d better fuck me.
f) Maybe if I can keep you on the edge long enough you’ll get frustrated and just screw me…

Anonymous Blogger

Anonymous Blogger

The Anonymous Blogger is an account all the authors of YouOnlyWetter uses if we see a great post somewhere else online. Usually NSFW (that's "Not Safe For Work" in case you didn't know!) We always ask permission before reblogging and try to mention where we found it and who was the original author but if we've missed it let us know. Found something funny that you think we should share or interested in writing a blog? then email [email protected]

You may also like...

12 Things I May Think While Sucking Cock

by Anonymous Blogger time to read: 2 min
1
Share This

Share This

Share this post with your friends!