Is Age A Reflection On Dominance?
Looking around on Fetlife is not only a good place for perving and chatting about your Kinks, but it also raises some brilliant topics of discussion, today SweetBbwBabe starting a thread about ‘Is age a reflection on Dominance.’ posted the main chunk of it below.
I often have young lads message me (18/19) telling me they’re a daddy dom and they’d like to meet me Automatically it’s a no from me. Mainly because of the age (I’m not saying daddies must be a lot older, my last was actually a couple of years younger than me) but I don’t know, I feel like that comes with years of experience and the idea of a kid just out of school being able to claim that seems a little crazy to me. A teenager being a daddy dom to a woman in their mid-30s does make me laugh a bit. So…am I just being ageist? Do you think someone that old can know about all the other things that come with it, that it’s not just about having that control but it’s much deeper and more complex?SweetBbwBabe
So I thought I would break it down, have a look at if being young makes stops you from being a good Dom/Domme, Daddy or Mummy?
Well let’s start with me, I have known I was a Dominant from the moment I found out about the kink and fetish world, yeah 15 + years ago, but does knowing in my heart mean I made a good Dominant back then at the beginning? Honestly thinking I don’t think I was, I am still learning as we all are, every day. The thing about the world we play in is when you start off you are going online and chatting with people,
So how do you learn?
It takes time, I have done more than a couple of blogs on here looking at what makes a good Dominant. The scene also teaches you really quickly what takes. Believing that D/s relationship dynamics are simple is something you learn. You say you are a Dom, and see someone who is a sub, your rightful place is telling that sub what to do, and as a sub, that person owes you respect, right?
Any D/s relationship is still a relationship. Yes, it may be temporary, and might only happen at something like a play munch, but still, a relationship none the less, between the dominant and the submissive because both people have made that choice. Being Dominant is long, monotonous, frustrating, and fucking hard work. It isn’t being Christian Grey. The sticking power does come with age. Ok, that makes me sound really old!
Ok so you are young Dom, reading this what do you need to do?
Start small, listen to other Doms, yes you can talk to other Dom’s to learn, look around at events and read lots (we have a ton of really basic to advanced stuff on here). AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!! Talk to people as people not as just a sub ask what they want, they may be offering their body, their mind, the control but you need to talk to them!
Don’t go in all gung-ho and expect everyone to kneel at your command, be open talk to people and say you are learning we all are every play.
So what I am really saying here is I agree with SweetBbwBabe that there is an age thing here. But not just age but time, to be a Dominant is something You learn, You have to listen & You have to engage then you have the possibility to become a Great Dom. As the world opens up as D/s relationships become more mainstream and as we talk about it more the learning will start earlier. Subs/Littles and Kittens will know it’s not wrong to feel like they do and Doms Daddies and Mistresses will learn the rules of Dominance.