Does wearing a condom ruin sex for you?
Then you’re having bad sex.
The first time I had sex without a condom on, it felt like a revelation. It felt so good. “Wow,” I thought, “sex with condoms absolutely sucks by comparison to this.” I didn’t quite have it right. The truth was, the sex I was having with condomsabsolutely sucked.
I’ve had partners male and female who I’ve never fucked without a condom. I’ve had partners who I’ve never had to wear a condom with. These days, it’s mostly a matter of logistics. Sometimes I switch from wearing a condom with somebody to not wearing one, and it’s nice, but it doesn’t make that much of a difference. Because these days, I have really fucking good sex, so it doesn’t goddamn matter if I’m wearing a piece of latex.
Know what a condom doesn’t get in the way of?
- Relishing the movement of a body against yours.
- Hearing the most delicious gasps, whimpers, screams, and moans.
- Touching, and being touched, in taboo ways that turn you into a pile of goop.
- Sexy words.
- Intelligence, teasing, and seduction.
- Plenty of forms of genital stimulation.
Ideally, all of these things are happening even while you’re fucking someone with a condom on. Jesus, folks, even video games expect you to touch two joysticks at once. If you’re so bad at hand-eye coordination that you literally can’t do anything while you’re slipping your dick around, maybe play a nice, relaxing game of Madden and take another year before you try and have sex again.
Condoms are great. Condoms also don’t change sex all that much. (If you have a serious problem with condoms affecting your level of stimulation, I encourage you to experiment with other condoms. If you want to have sex on a regular basis, find a product that does good by you; believe me, it can make a tremendous difference.)
If you’re having such bad sex that a minor variance in what your peener’s touching ruins shit for you, your problem’s not the fucking condom. Maybe it’s your partner. Maybe it’s you. Probably it’s both. Stop blaming the condom, and fix the other shit in your life instead.