The Daddy Drop
Ok so we have previously spoken on the subject of sub drop, how to deal with it, and what it really is and how it affects your little or sub but did you know that there is also something called Dom drop or daddy drop as well… And it is quite a serious thing. Daddy drop is a lot like sub drop in which the daddy can also have irrational feelings of depression, irritation, anger, worthlessness and other related impacts to his mental and emotional state after an intense session… Play time… Or punishment.
So let’s have a small walk through and examine exactly why this might occur and some things you can do to help.
The first thing to understand about daddy is that he is full of Pride…
The way in which you react to him in certain situations dictates that Pride. He sees himself as the pillar of your strength and security, so it’s very important to him to know that he did a great job in whatever it is that he did…. from playtime to feeding you to simply telling you a story.
Believe it or not, he is not always so sure of himself, Believe it or not he struggles with whether or not he did a good job for you just as much as you do for him, little one. Likewise fashion to your needs, he needs proper affirmation, building up, and confidence boosts as well. He can be impacted in many ways from the activity that he engages in with you… And as such, it is your job as his little to help him to fight against these feelings.
One of the biggest things that your daddy struggles with is punishing you.
Quite simply, he just does not want to do it. But unfortunately it is a necessity at times in order to help you grow and become better than you were the day before. Which really should be his ultimate Mission. Building you up, helping you grow, and seeing you turn into a beautiful butterfly from the cocoon that you started in.
The times after a punishment can be some of the worst for him mentally and emotionally…
Did I hurt her too much? Did I satisfy the punishment? Did she get enough? Was it too much? Does she hate me for what I did? Did I do it properly? Does she understand why she had to be punished? Did I make myself clear? Why did she break her rules? Does she not love me? Does she not want to obey me because she hates me? I hate making her cry…
These are all things that run through his head, just like they do yours. A daddy who does not have a properly built confidence will suffer these things each and every time that you have a session together. And if you’re purposely bratty and do things in effort to get his attention…. You may actually be hurting the relationship.
So then what do you do?
Littles: put yourself in Daddy’s shoes and imagine how he is feeling.
Then you can start the process of giving him proper affirmation and helping him to know that he did a good job. Give him a back rub, say kind and affirming words, tell him how much it means to you that he did what he did, let him know that he did a great job overall… And then when you have your discussion time outside of play time and everything else you can talk about any questions and concerns and work things out.
It’s okay to treat Daddy like a little sometimes and do things for him that are out of the ordinary… Because believe it or not sometimes he actually cries. Sometimes she actually gets down on himself.
Give him a bath… Make him a meal… Brush his beard or his hair… Iron his shirts… Do whatever you have to do to properly activate aftercare after the session just the same way that he should you. This goes for punishments, playtime, really anything outside of a vanilla interaction.
And you can always bring it up again a few days later… “You know when we did this the other day, that was really nice and you did this and that greatly and I really enjoyed it”… And so on.
Daddies: be naturally confident in your abilities.
Your little gave you the gift of her submission for a reason… Because she sees you above all others. She sees you as a great Pillar of Strength and security. She sees you as the person who can ultimately give her the best care in the world… Therefore she has full confidence and trust in you.
There’s no shame in asking for help and taking criticism.
Set aside a time once a week where you can activate a safe zone that she can say whatever she wants in order to help you.
Have her to give you a weekly review of how you did that week, the good the bad… The pros and cons… Ask her where you can improve and what areas need to be worked on. Take all of this criticism with absolute positivity and show her that it’s ok for her to speak up.
You’ll be amazed at how much closer it brings you together.
Implementing these simple methods on both sides will add great success and growth to your relationship and bring closeness like you’ve never seen before.