Stuff Wish I Knew About Dating When I Was Younger
If you have read our blog for a while you will know I am back on the dating apps, I have a few younger friends and started sharing the fact that online dating doesn’t have to be hard scary or have to pretend you’re something you are not. So in this post we are going to look at the things I wish I knew about dating earlier in my life.
You don’t have to date only one person at a time.
In the past, if I liked you, you were the only person in my world. But then I started dating a couple people at once and it did give me some perspective. It was easier to say, “Well, whichever one works out works out.” I’m not saying it worked for me long-term, but I’m glad I tried to do things differently.
It’s OK if they are very, very nice, but you still don’t like them.
It does not mean you are broken! You don’t need to have 400 signs they are an asshole to just not be that into someone.
If they makes you feel shitty about your body, he’s a monster.
End of story. I am right about this.
If they ever make you feel scared, for whatever reason, it’s time to move on.
I don’t care if they kind of, sort of raised his voice at you one time, or made you feel like she was going to hit you but didn’t do it, please leave or talk to someone who can help you leave. Which brings me to another important point…
Trust your instincts. They’re right.
If you feel like they are being too pushy or not listening to you, or they seems strange, or making you uncomfortable, I trust you and your instincts, and you should too. Leave and don’t say why. You don’t owe anything to anyone who is making you feel weird.
If you think “hanging out” instead of “going out” is bullshit, that’s totally reasonable.
That instinct you have that one person who always asks you to “hang out” instead of admitting that the two of you are dating is kind of a child is spot-on. they are not a horrible person for using the term, but come on, just admit it’s a date.
Yes, asking to hang out after 10 p.m. is in fact a booty call.
Even if you just cuddle. Also, am I the only one who has legit received cuddling booty calls before? Hmm. OK.
If the kissing is bad, all the other stuff will be even worse.
And REALLY no, you cannot “train them.” I’m sorry, but no.
If the date is going horribly, leave as soon as humanly possible.
Don’t stay because you’re trying to be polite, don’t stay because it might get better; this is your life! Just leave and go home and watch Corry because it’s so much better than talking about fiscal expenditures while drinking watery whiskey with a lawyer named Jed.
If you really don’t want to go on a date, just cancel.
You’re not doing either of you any favors by sitting there bored shitless thinking about the nice warm bed at home, through the whole date. If you change your mind, you can always reschedule.
If you feel like you have to convince them of how cool you are.
This makes me cringe so, so much. Anyone who knows me personally knows I’m the coolest, funniest, cutest, kinky weirdo on the block, and yet I have spent way too much time trying to make sure my crush on knows that, instead of picking the ones who can see it before I have to say a word.
Seriously, stop looking so hard.
Just for a little while. I’ve spent so much of my life wondering if “This Is It” and eventually it just gets so exhausting. It took me ages to finally let that go and realize if it happens, it happens. It’s so much easier said than done, but if you can let go of that rope for a bit, you’ll be saner.
Your ex is your ex for a reason.
No, you didn’t mess things up with a really good guy. Yes, she was a cute care student, but she was also the jerk who stole your coat. Case closed.
Let yourself enjoy really, really liking them!
Sure, they might turn out to be a total nightmare person in a few weeks or months or years. But right now everything they say sounds like rain water moving outside your window, they smells like fresh cotton and possibility, and they looks at you like you’re the only person in the world. Keep this feeling as long as you can without worrying when it’ll be over. Because this might actually be the one time that feeling lasts.