When you know, you know, by The_Shy_Girl
Well you all know we at YouOnlyWetter are huge Fetlife addicts, today i bring you a post by The_Shy_Girl one of Jon the nudists friends, its a very heartfelt post that she has allowed us to share, dont ever feel like you are not normal.
“I’ve wanted to do one of these for a while now, but was a little apprehensive to actually do it. Then today I thought fuck it, so here goes..
So one of the basic questions on here is, when did you know you were into kinky related things. For me, I’ve always known, its never really been a question I’ve needed to think about. But how do I explain that? Personally, the kinky aspect of things was something that I’ve always been interested in even before I was interested in sex and most of the things that interested me, weren’t sexualised. They fascinated me.
It was pretty confusing growing up with these little desires, which again, I need to emphasise that this stage wasn’t sexual at all, that came later. The earliest memory I have of it was as kids tying each other up with scarves and whoever could get out won. I don’t completely remember it but I remember it was my favourite game. Then I suppose the next step was I used to think about it, trying to escape from having my wrists tied and sometimes I’d mess about with it myself with dressing gown ties. I found it fascinating being restricted and even more fascinating when I would accomplish getting free.
Then as I got older, the little desires changed from finding it fun being tied up to enjoying it. This is when things started to confuse me, I couldn’t understand why I liked it so much and I couldn’t understand the feeling I felt from the idea. It actually took a while before sexual things came into it, it was just the feeling of being tied up and vulnerable that thrilled me so much. Even when things started to turn sexual; I was scared. I thought I was weird, that I shouldn’t like these things and I tried to ignore it. I wanted to be normal. It really didn’t help that I matured quicker that most so the whole ‘whats-this-feeling-when-I-touch-here-thing‘ was double as confusing when it was paired with thinking about said things.
Obviously it took up until a few years ago till I realised that there’s nothing wrong with what I like, but growing up knowing it, it’s so confusing. Especially seeing as who could I talk to about it? If I spoke to anyone when I was younger about it, they’d have thought I was weird. Not really like I could go to my mum or my friends and explain something that even I didn’t understand.
I used to panic about being in a relationship and not being able to tell or do the things I wanted, I was so nervous at the fact I’d have to do normal sex. It genuinely worried me. I just used to think, I’ll have to keep this part of me hidden and pretend I enjoyed the basics. Not to mention as I got older, my tastes adapted and got more varied. I mean, how do I tell a guy to squeeze my neck, tie me down and slap my face? I’m sure that’ll go down smoothly.
Fetlife has been a pretty nice relief, I still worried about how I would tell someone what I liked up until I joined there. Theres so many people into literally all kinds of things, some extreme and some light. Pretty amazing too seeing how many people living nearby were on there too. Im also not afraid anymore if I met someone that I could talk to them about it and tell them what I like. Even telling friends, even though you know theres some that will never really understand it, was really exciting and a big relief. Telling people who you’ve known almost all of your life, not to mention when they tell you they’re the same!, is so satisfying.
I was kind of nervous to write this, incase I sounded naive or that this is pretty common. But to me, it made things more confusing for me as I grew up and not being able to talk to someone about it made it pretty hard and I suppose, I felt a little alone, like I was the only one. Little did I know at the time it’s pretty damn common! They should totally make ‘fetishist’ as an orientation so any of those confused kids realise they aren’t weird.”