I’m not made to be single
I’m not made to be single
Look, I’ve enjoyed my fair share of the single life. I would head out every night to a different club and every morning wake up in the bed of a different girl.
I enjoyed drinking and fighting and camping and shooting. I enjoyed doing stupid shit, and taking my life in my hand. I enjoyed almost killing myself and not having anyone that gave enough of a shit to tell me not to.
I enjoyed heading out with my boys, not a care in the world, or anyone to phone me a thousand times to know when I’d be home.
But you know what?
I like someone wanting me to come home.
I like someone telling me to stop drinking.
I like someone telling me to come to bed.
I like someone telling me to stop chasing girls.
I like someone telling me that “She’s too young for you!”
I like someone telling me to be safe.
I like someone telling me to stop doing stupid extreme sports.
I like someone telling me that if I’m not careful, I’ll kill myself.
I love coming home to a house full of love. I love the warmth it brings into my life. I love to curl up on the couch under a doona with someone while watching TV.
I love to spoon in bed and to feel the rise and fall of their breathing. I love waking up with someone snuggled into my side, their head on my chest, and their leg over mine.
I love to wake up early and cook someone breakfast, or to get home early and run them a bath.
I love lazy rainy days, spent together, hiding inside, eating terrible food, and watching movie marathons in pajamas.
I love to go to the movies with someone and fight over what we should see. I love going to dinner and knowing what the other person will order.
I love having a life so full of love that we bring someone else into it. That we have an extra person to snuggle under the doona while watching a movie. To sit at our table in the restaurant, or beg to see the film of their choice.
I love sitting in a car with people who are special to me as we wind down the windows and sing along with a song at the top of our lungs.
I love falling asleep in the middle, sandwiched between two bodies that turn from icy cold to boiling hot the second they drift into sleep.
Two weeks ago I was in Sydney, snuggled in bed watching pixar movies with my amazing wife-to-be on one side, and our beautiful submissive on the other. One week ago my partner had to leave to go back to College for four months.
This week, I go home to a dark empty apartment every day. And it doesn’t matter how hot the Queensland weather is, it just feels so cold.
I sit and watch TV and drink too much and avoid going to bed until I know I am so tired that I will fall asleep immediately, because there is nothing I hate more than the loneliness of a cold empty bed.
Fuck this shit. I’m not made to be single.
The Original Post on Fetlife can be found here