Fuck you voice
Sometimes you come when it’s dark and I am alone, telling me no one really cares. Saying everything I try will fail, every love will end, everyone will leave.
You tell me every compliment I hear is a lie. You tell me every gesture of affection I receive is insincere.
You tell me that all my kinks are perversions, that a real man would not do the things I do. You convince me that I am defective, immoral, undeserving, and I hate myself for believing you.
You tell me I am getting old, and soft, and weak. When I look in the mirror, you point out every flaw. You compare me with the men in the magazines and the videos, and remind me of all the ways I fall short.
When I have sex, you sit on my shoulder and tell me I am doing it wrong, that it’s just one more way I can disappoint.
I wish you weren’t just a voice in my head. I wish you were a man so I could fight you and choke and kill you. You are a cowardly voice, you come only when I am tired and my defences are low, then you run away and hide when I have the strength to confront you.
You’re hiding now and the sun’s out, so I’ll put on my smile and my confident act.
Fuck you voice, and all your negative shit. I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want you anymore. It’s time for you to go. But I know you’ll be back, and I am afraid I’ll listen to you again.
Borrowed it from mr_O but rings true with my feelings at the moment