So I got searching the other night on to ‘what is to be a Dom or Domme‘, and found many different ideas as to what a Dominant should be. I thought it would be good to look at what being a Dom means to me, and what you should look for in a new Dom.

Being a Dominant

What being a Dominant means to me!Does not mean you have to dominate every situation.

Means you do not need to be the one that shouts the loudest.

Means you do not need to be the most muscular or the most well endowed.

Means knowing how to support your submissive for your mutual growth.

Dominance is a relative term; you are not dominant over every other dominant nor all other submissives – no, because that would make you arrogant, and I’m sure you know better.

Is about knowing when to speak and how to speak, to create the greatest impact; it has nothing to do with volume.

Is about knowing that you don’t need to win every argument. Sometimes the best response to a fool is silence. The difference between a wise man and an intelligent man is that the latter knows the right answers but the former knows when to share them.

Means that you are fully aware of your shortcomings and fallibility. It means recognizing that you’re not perfect and that your submissive is perfectly imperfect.

Does not mean you need to follow the indoctrination of another Dominant. Be confident in yourself and your abilities – it’s attractive and infectious.

Is not about owning a suit, tie and flogger.

Is not about having a roguish beard or chiseled abs.

Is about having a positive mindset conducive to the growth of your submissive. It’s about focus, discipline and reciprocity.

Have you got any others that you can add to this?