When it comes to masturbation, men have got all the luck! Us girls have to figure it out on our own if we are masturbating correctly, I have chatted to many women who don’t even know they have three separate holes!!!!, much less the correct way to pleasure them. At any given time, there are thousands of women masturbating, each one more incorrectly than the next. So here is a step-by-step guide to make sure you’re not flicking your bean wrong:

1. Are they your genitals?

Are You Masturbating Correctly?It’s okay if they aren’t yours really its good but that’s just called sex, not masturbation. You do NOT want to be doing one thing and calling it some other thing because that is wrong. You want to make sure you’re doing sex correctly as well, but that’s a whole different article. 🙂

2. Are you on your back?

You don’t have to be on top. Believe us – nobody likes a bossy girl, not even you. Let the air above your bed take the reins on this one. sit on a chair, on the washing machine, in the bath anywhere you want.

3. Are your fingernails beautiful, squared-off claws?

Over 80% of women are slumping their humpbacked selves around this planet with grubby, naked fingertips. Make sure your French manicure is at least an inch long and square enough to shred your vaginal walls. No really now just be careful a cut down there is going to hurt!

4. Are you using one finger to make identical quarter-sized circles?

Dont pretend your clitoris is a first generation iPod that only has one good song on it, and the song starts with a “Y.” Vary the speed, direction, or circumference of your strokes really mix up that playlist.

5. Are you chastely sticking one or two fingers into your vagina?

Your furniture isnt going to think of you as some kind of sex freak, so dont take it really easy on your v-hole. A little more force or curiosity might result in better orgasms try it.

6. Are you dropping all pretenses and just doing whatever feels good?

“Ew, what? Gross. No. Stop. Get out. You’re gross. No. Stop it. Ugh, now we’re gross.” Yeah this is really what one of my girlfriends said as talking about finger fucking myself! DO WHAT FEELS BEST!!!

7. Did you come?

You did? Um, that’s cool I guess. You didn’t? Don’t worry about it! was it fun? the key message here is to practice, practice, practice masturbating.