Teenage boy’s porn-star prom date

Mike Stone, an eighteen-year-old Minnesota high school student who has clearly seen The Girl Next Door way, way too many times, is a man with big dreams and an even bigger libido. That’s why over the past several weeks, he’s been sending Tweets to hundreds of porn-star‘s asking if they’ll accompany him to his senior prom. His pervy little quest was to no avail until Megan Piper (above) — star of such films as Pornhub’s Megan Piper Squirting 2 and Only Teen Blowjobs’ “Blowjob Princess Megan Piper is 19 and hot for cum” — agreed to be his date, provided he paid for her airfare from Los Angeles and not just use her as fodder for his Georgetown application essay.

Unfortunately, however, the principal at Stone’s high school was apparently either unfamiliar or overly familiar with Piper’s oeuvre, resulting in the administration’s refusal to allow Piper admission to the prom. The superintendent of the Minnesota school district told the local Fox News affiliate that Piper’s appearance at the prom would be “inconsistent” with district policies pertaining to school visits. According to district spokeswoman Jennifer McNeil, the policy states that any individual or group can be denied entry to school-sponsored events if the visit is “not in the best interest” of the district.

Naturally, horny high-school boys and porn aficionados everywhere have flocked to Stone’s defense, sending donations to a PayPal account that Stone set up to help pay for Piper’s ticket. Stone’s Twitter account has been bombarded with messages punctuated by the hashtag “Porn4Prom,” and I would like to take a moment to add my own voice to the chorus of support. You don’t think a porn star at your precious little high-school dance is in the “best interest” of your school district, Ms. McNeil? Well, pin a rose on your nose, lady. I’d tell you what kind of shit went on at my high-school prom, but for the sake of propriety I will refrain from doing so. Suffice to say that it made “Blowjob Princess Megan Piper is 19 and hot for cum” look like a Timmy the Tooth cartoon. Having a porn star there would have actually significantly classed up the joint, and I suggest you think about that this May 13th when your prom queen is caught in the bathroom giving birth to an octopus while shooting meth through her eyeballs.