Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old For BDSM
10. Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries
9. Your nipple clamps have training wheels
8. Edge play is standing by the microwave with your pacemaker
7. When you tell your sub to get the cane, she has to specify “walking” or “beating”
6. You can’t tell the difference between your tattoos and your age spots
5. You shout “Three, Two, One, CLEAR!” for electrical play
4. Your idea of breath play is when your wheelchair runs over your oxygen hose
3. Your idea of suspension is an UltraLift bra
2. You hold the paddle and say, “You’re younger than me…back into the paddle…HARD!”
And the Number One way to tell you might be too old for BDSM:
1. Age play really is 24/7
